Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Getting to Know Your New Boyfriend
• Method 2 of 3: Strengthening Relationships
• Method 3 of 3: How to Forget Your Ex-Boyfriend
• Tips

Sometimes feelings for an ex-boyfriend remain even when we start a new relationship. If you continue to secretly (or openly) love your ex, it can be difficult to develop sympathy for your new boyfriend. Be determined and open-minded to make the new relationship enjoyable even when you have those feelings.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Getting to Know Your New Boyfriend

1. 1 Strive to bond with your boyfriend. The shortest path to sympathy is to get to know the guy as well as possible. There are a few things you already know and appreciate (otherwise you would not have started dating), but surely there is still a lot of unknown left. Try to learn about your partner's interests, hobbies, and quirks so that you can feel sympathy for him despite your feelings for your ex.
   • Look for common ground. For example, you may find that you not only enjoy watching cartoons together, but also adore the same classic pictures.
   • Learn from a guy. He may be great at drawing, and you've always wanted to improve your skills.
   • Try to find out what makes him smile and laugh, what frustrates, frightens, inspires, and what he dreams of.
2. 2 Admit that he is not perfect. The new guy will make mistakes, but don't rush to reproach him for every mistake. Don't use petty troubles as an excuse for lack of sympathy. If there is nothing "criminal" about the guy's actions, then reward him with a credit of trust.
   • Not a single person in the world fits your idea of ​​the perfect guy.
   • It's okay if he doesn't already know your preferences. New relationships take time.
   • If your boyfriend makes a mistake, then don't say that he acts like your ex (or that your ex has solved such problems at once). Such words can offend and anger the guy.
3. 3 Show respect. It's hard to have sympathy for someone you don't respect. It all starts with respect. Start appreciating your guy as a person, consider his opinion, and thank him for his concern. Show that he is important to you, even if you find yourself in public without your boyfriend.
   • Respect is also about rarely talking about your ex and not showing that feelings for him are still alive.
   • Show respect for your boyfriend and new relationship. Show that you value your new boyfriend and not just try to forget your ex, spend time together, and get closer.
4. 4 Don't compare guys. Comparing current and former partners is bad for several reasons. First of all, because for comparison, you have to remember your ex-boyfriend. Remember often. Also, the current guy needs to be loved for who he is, and not for differences or similarities with his ex.
   • Don't be overwhelmed by how the new guy is doing better or how he looks like his ex.
   • Never mind what the ex-boyfriend was better at. So you will only strengthen your feelings for him, and not fall in love with a new partner.

Method 2 of 3: Strengthening Relationships

1. 1 Trust that you will succeed. If you consider that the new relationship has no future, then your efforts will be insufficient and sympathy will not arise. Faith and confidence in a new relationship affects how you perceive a situation. Forgetting your ex is easier if you give all of yourself to a new relationship.
   • List the reasons that build your confidence.
   • Talk to your boyfriend about joint steps that will help you bond and strengthen your relationship.
2. 2 Don't be afraid of the new. You don't have to repeat everything that you did with your ex. Remember that you are now in a new, different relationship. No need to repeat the old scenario with the new guy. All new actions, habits and traditions will help you to get closer, allow you to feel sympathy despite old feelings.
   • If you've had breakfast with your ex on Wednesdays and Fridays, try to dine with your new boyfriend on the weekends.
   • If you called your ex-boyfriend "Favorite", then call your new partner "Bunny", "Dear" or something else.
3. 3 Talk about your ex. No need to have long conversations about how wonderful he was, and especially mention that you still love him. Briefly explain why your relationship did not work out. People get to know each other through conversation. In addition, you will learn why you broke up with your ex, which will allow you to feel sympathy for your new partner.
   • Briefly tell me who he was, how long did you meet, why you broke up.
   • Be honest. Don't throw mud at your ex if they don't deserve it, but don't praise them either. Be honest about your ex and your relationship with him.
   • One such conversation is enough. Don't bore the new boyfriend with stories about your ex.
   • If you need to talk it out, then it is better to talk to a friend or a psychologist.

Method 3 of 3: How to Forget Your Ex-Boyfriend

1. 1 Accept that it's over. The best way to move on is to admit that your relationship with your ex is over. If you continue to hope that someday you will be together again, then it is better to forget about it. Your relationship ended and your boyfriend became an ex-partner. You need to accept this in order to focus on your new relationship.
   • Don't think of your ex as a partner. It's gone. Better not to think about him at all.
   • Write in a journal or talk with a friend about how the relationship ended. Use the past tense to emphasize completeness and give reasons.
   • Whenever you think of your ex, remember why you are happy about the end of the relationship. If necessary, make a list of such reasons.
2. 2 Don't forget the reasons for the breakup. Sometimes, when we love a person, we miss or “forget” the reasons why we decided to part with him. We only remember the good and forget the bad moments. Think openly about the reasons for your breakup so that you can understand the situation and understand why the new boyfriend is the best fit for you.
   • Was your ex-boyfriend angry, lied to, or cheated on you? Didn't you manage to find a common language?
   • Has he gone to another girl or has he left you for no reason? Perhaps your act was the reason?
   • Write a letter to yourself and list all the reasons why your ex was a bad couple for you. Reread this letter as needed.
3. 3 Assess how ready you are for a new relationship. If you are not interested in a new relationship, and thoughts about your ex-boyfriend haunt you, then assess whether you are ready to date another now. So, sometimes it's better to be alone to sort out your feelings and not force yourself to be nice to the new guy.
   • Think about it: Am I dating him because I really like him, or is it something else? Am I trying to get revenge on my ex or make him jealous? Perhaps it's important for me to just be in a relationship and not be alone?
   • Admit that if you have feelings for your ex, you may not be ready for a new relationship. In this case, it is better not to rush into a new relationship, but to understand yourself and bounce back.
   • Spend time with friends and loved ones, pursue personal goals, and build self-esteem by trying to forget your ex.
4. 4 Don't hang out with your ex. If there is no urgent need, then it is better not to communicate with your ex, especially constantly. Keeping in touch will make it harder for you to move on and let go of feelings for him. Your communication is bound to get in the way of your relationship with your new boyfriend.
   • No need to call, write messages and letters, visit. Is he Ok.
   • You can temporarily block your ex on social media to avoid bumping into their posts in your news feed and resisting the temptation to leave your comment.
   • If you have to communicate, keep conversations to a minimum and do not discuss past relationships.
5. 5 Learn to see your ex in a new light. Some relationships end for very obvious reasons - cheating, disrespect, abuse. But sometimes the reason is not so clear at all. For example, you loved each other, but aspired to different goals, one of the partners wanted to move to another city. In such a situation, letting go of a person is more difficult. The guy could be just a wonderful person and deserve your love, but completely not suitable for you. How can one forget such a person? Think of your feelings as love for a friend based on admiration versus the romantic love you dreamed of. Understand that such love (friendly feeling, care, respect) is in the order of things, it does not interfere with romantic feelings for a new partner.
6. 6 Remember, time heals. Over time, you will remember your past relationship less and less and subsequently love for your ex-boyfriend will come to naught. This can take weeks, months or even a year. Be patient and trust in time.

Tips

• Give or get rid of things that remind you of your ex.
• Focus on the positive qualities of the new partner, but do not lose sight of any warning signs (constant fights or cheating).